On a Seesaw

Currently reading: Holes (woot for preparing to teach Middle School English!!) 

limbo: an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place

On one hand, I would love to get on a plane tomorrow (well... I haven't said all my goodbyes yet, so let's say next week instead). I'm excited to get there and get started! Figure out what I should be teaching this next year, how to teach it, meet my future colleagues, and begin to acclimate myself (back) to Ethiopia.

On the other hand, there's this niggling doubt in the back of my mind that says "Hold on! The money isn't in yet. You don't have a ticket in hand. You may not be there by the first week of August!" And these things are all true. 

I feel like I'm on a seesaw: anticipation on one side but reality on the other. I find myself trying to balance between the two as the future seems so close and yet just out of reach.

When I think of seesaws, I immediately picture the ones at MHC  with the metal  bar connecting them, paint peeling,... this was the closest I could find. 

But then I stop and realize: 
1. I hate seesaws. Even as a child, I didn't like them because I was always anticipating that horrid cherry bomb- just waiting for the other person to jump off and let me hit the ground super hard.
2. I'm not doing this alone.

I don't have to balance it all on my own. I don't have to worry about a cherry bomb coming. Because God is holding me in his hand. He won't let me hit the ground because he has promised me He will never leave me or forsake me.

And then he reminds me "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear, [or who will send money in to support you]... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? ...But seek his kingdom and these things [food, clothes ...support] will be given to you as well. " (Luke 12: 22, 25-26, 31)

Thanks, Lord. You take care of it and I'll be here seeking Your kingdom!